Friday, September 27, 2013

Explanation and a Little Surprise at the End

I know people keep blogs for various reasons and I really appreciate my followers. I also know that I have not posted forever and there have been reasons for that. Some of those, I am going to explain now so that people know what is going on with me. 

Before I left for Convention, I knew that I had a very large mass growing somewhere on the left side of my abdomen. It was approximately the size of a small bowling ball and it was causing me a great deal of discomfort, mostly in the form of nausea, but periodic bouts of drop dead pain attacks, which I tried to hide the best I could. I knew I was facing major surgery but I also had to have cancer testing done to see if the mass was cancerous or not. Either way, due to medication I take, major surgery was a huge risk for me and I had an anesthetic consult before I went to Convention. The odds were laid out clearly - I had approx. a 15-20% chance of not surviving this surgery at all. That's pretty tough to hear but I knew I couldn't go on the way things were going. 

Upon arriving home, I moved into a new apartment as my husband and I had split up. I was then a victim of a horrendous domestic assault of which I won't go into details (it was not my husband who did it). I was badly hurt and eventually did go to the police. The individual was charged with and plead guilty to assault, assault with a weapon and breach of parole. He spent about a month in jail and is now on parole and is not to have an contact with me directly or indirectly. I have been going for counseling to deal with the terrible nightmares and guilt that I have about this event. I have never experienced anything like this before and don't expect to ever again. Fortunately, the police were wonderful to deal with although I never want to have to give another statement as long as I live. 

Just a few days after that, I had the MRI tests in Toronto (about 75 minutes south of here). Fortunately, the results came back negative although my surgeon was still very skeptical with the types of symptoms I was experiencing. Our local hospital is undergoing major renovations and being the summer, only about half the operating rooms are available and so my surgery wasn't booked until August 22. The day arrived and I was so nervous. A friend took me there and my mom had come down as well (she's 85). Just moments before the surgery, the anesthetist who had done my consult came out to see me. He sat with me and took my hand in his. So many doctors try to "play God" but not this man. I had had him before when I had my gall bladder removed and I fought to have him for this surgery as well. He told me that God was watching over the two of us and all the staff in the OR. He said the God had equipped him with the knowledge, the tools and the skills to keep me safe and that was his only priority was to keep me safe. We sat there for a few more moments and then he asked if I was ready. Of course the answer was no but he took my hand and led me into the OR. My surgeon is the same way - compassionate, comforting, etc. But this anesthetist also has a terrific sense of humour and right away made me laugh as he began the insertion of the IV (I remembered that sense of humour from the last time...) 

Anyways, after I was out and they got started, there were major complications in that they didn't find what they expected. The mass was definitely there but my surgeon had been under the impression it had been attached to my ovaries and was planning to remove my ovaries and tubes with it. It was apparently attached to my bowel instead. It ended up that there were (in addition to the 2 anesthetists), 7 specialists in my OR that morning, including my surgeon (a gynecologist), another gynecologist, 2 general surgeons, a urologist and 2 others that I can't recall. I guess it was quite a circus in there with lots of people having their say. No cancer was found but the mass was removed and a small piece of my bowel were sent to pathology just to be certain. The surgery itself took the better part of 4 hours and the pain afterwards was incredible. I had to be sedated again until they could get control of that. I was in the hospital for almost a full week and am feeling much better now. I still can't do any lifting or anything like that yet. 

However, through all of this, I have just lost my motivation to create. When I arrived at my apartment, my CTMH bundles were waiting for me and they remained in the boxes for almost 2 months before I even unpacked them. Even now, I am just starting to feel like creating again, so hopefully this continues. I am currently working on my Stamp of the Month Blog Hop piece and I want it to be extra special since I haven't done much for so long. 

So that's, why I have been out of the picture for so long. I apologize to all of you who come to my blog, expecting something and there is nothing there. However, I DO have a little surprise for you if you have read this far. I do have a new roommate. Her name is Mika and she is just 9.5 weeks old now. She is a Maltese/Yorkie cross and she has brought new meaning to my life. Isn't she precious??

So, on Oct.1, I WILL have a SOTM post up and I am hoping that more posts will follow as I think I have finally hit the creative mode once again. 

Thanks for reading my story and maybe understanding a little better where I have been all this time. 



Lyn said...

I just recently discovered CTMH here in Australia and that is what lead me to discovering your blog. I hope time brings the best of healing to you both physically and emotionally. I am so sorry to read of your ordeal. I totally adore your new room mate!!!!! How cute and if nothing else I would so love to see more pics of her because she is just to darn cute not to share :)

Wendy Coffman said...

Wow, Alyson, I truly admire your gumption! I'm so glad you are on the road to recovery, and with such an adorable roommate to boot!

Paula said...

You've been through a lot, and it's understandable when you can't create and blog. So glad you seem to be getting your mojo juices going again, and will soon be back here posting regularly again.
And how adorable is that Mika? She is a cutie, and I know you must be enjoying her immensely! What a sweetie.... and animals can be so beneficial in the overall healing process. I think it's the unconditional love they show for their humans that can help get us through some most difficult times. I'm glad she has you to look after! :)

Maureen said...

OMG, you've been through a lot-- your husband leaving, the assault, and then the surgery! I tend to internalize everything, thinking I can handle it. However, like you I've learned, its best to talk about it. When you open up to others you realize that there is always someone who has been in your shoes. You are doing all the right things-- focusing on all the good. Don't put pressure on yourself to post. You needed to grieve for everything you've been through. Looks like you are ready to create and just go with it. If you don't feel like posting later, then stop. You will get back to yourself and we'll all be here cheering you on. Best of luck, Maureen

Casandra Bennett said...

I'm so sorry Alyson for what you've had to deal with. May God continue to be with you and bless you with beautiful things. Your puppy is adorable. We hope to see more of her in the future.

Carla said...

So sorry for all you have/are going through! Wishing you nothing but the best in the days ahead!

Karen said...

I'm so glad that you are on the road to recovery! I really missed you and am so glad you came back, always looking forward to your creativity! Love your new little puppy! I just lost my little guy back in December. Eleven wonderful years and your little princess reminded me how small he was when I first got him (2.3 pounds!) Everyone thinks I should adopt another, but it wouldn't be the same, plus I still have another one who is 6 years old who also misses his buddy but now has my undivided attention and is really milking it!